one

Conceptual Birthing

Today was the first day that my study group got together, and one of the things we practiced was a little freestyle conceptual focusing. Conceptual focusing is generally known as the "theme" that a teacher may use at the beginning and throughout a class. I had been practicing at different places for years before I came across teachers who did this, and then, when I moved to LA, I started studying Anusara, which is like, hello - themes are may-jah! So - we were all a little nervous but we jumped right on in. - My attempt to recall what I was talking about...

I recently watched this documentary, The Business of Being Born, and it reminded me of a comment that was made during our second week of teacher training, about one person "giving up" during a pose. This stuck with me for a while, because this is something we all face in our practice - how we deal with difficulty.

The documentary is pretty incredible - I have never seen a home birth. I have never seen a vaginal delivery, and it's getting quite rare these days. My sister gave birth at a hospital. They have this drill now, where if you aren't pushing that baby out in around 2 hours, they basically tell you that your babies life depends on a c-section. And they proceed to give you this major operation. When I saw my sister, she was lying down, there are tubes everywhere...It's not a pretty place. Add to that image, every movie or tv show you see where a woman is giving birth, they make it look like the scariest and most traumatic thing you can possibly imagine as a woman. So, there I am, watching this video - and I'm bawling - not because I'm scared - but, they show around 4 or 5 home births in the movie, because I am so emotionally moved. I have never seen an act so beautiful to be honest. I was awestruck by the power of woman.

All of the women talked about the process of their labor, and it seems like every one had gotten to this really hard place. And one of the women, when sharing her experience, was describing how she felt she was at this rock. This hard rock and she just wanted to give up. She's talking to herself in her head, and she's saying, "Well, what are you going to do? Walk out of here and be pregnant for the rest of your life? That ain't gonna work." And she faced it. She faced the pain, she faced that hard rock, and opened to it. And then that baby came.

Later on in the movie she said, to paraphrase, "It was the most empowered I have ever felt. If I can do that, I CAN DO ANYTHING." Wow. I can do anything. How powerful. What is being robbed from all these women who are being institutionally forced into having c-sections...

There is something we can all take from this - Whether you have already given birth, whether you plan on someday giving birth, whether you are a man and will never be able to literally give birth - can we look at every hard rock we cross paths with in our lives like this, as an opportunity to empower? Instead of giving up, can we make every hard moment an opportunity to grow? Or to let go? To play?

What would happen if we let go of the limitations society, or family, or relationships, or, and most importantly, What would happen if we let go of the limits we place on ourselves? What kind of person would you become? What kind of life would that look like?

In our practice, we have a regular opportunity to face this. Let's think about this when we get into a hard place, when we get into difficult terrain. Instead of giving up, let's think - I CAN DO ANYTHING.

This goes out to the ladies in my study group!!!!

Yoga Teacher Training

The initial intention of this page is to document my journey through yoga teacher training in Los Angeles. Here I intend to record creative expressions, reflections, inspirations, bad jokes, tmi, and who knows what else, as I move along on a pathway to an open heart. :)