What we happened upon was nothing like any of the videos I have watched online, where the sessions seemed focused on physical repetitions of movement conjoined with laughter, fake and real intermixing and ebbing about. This was like an acting class. A bad acting class. A bad acting class where the teacher told the students to walk through the space and speak to one another in gibberish. Now, I don't know about you, but this really seems like getting off to a bad start. If the purpose of this get together is to release the tension we so predominately hold in our bellies, then why would you start off with the most forced cliches which involve speaking? I know it's gibberish, but this still activates the brain in a way that's completely different than making cow faces or shaking your hands to imitate the force of a deep laugh. It requires some degree of thought, especially when you lead up to "now go around and yell at someone in gibberish" and "now go apologize to that person in gibberish while singing a country western song!" I feel that leading a group in such a manner ventures away from some base laughter concept, and into the disastreous world of insincerity and hey-world-look-at-me-i'm-gonna-be-a-star mentality so excessively overflowing in LA. The last time I felt so uncomfortable I was at the gyn's being told to "scoot on down." My friend and I found ourselves by the door during the gibberish sequence where we were trying to quickly decide whether we should tough it out and stay. Then someone next to us in the tiny room farted. We left.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
this is no laughing matter
I went with a friend this week to our first "Laughter Yoga" class. I wanted to give this a go, because it was something that had once seemed so ridiculous to me. The forced nature of it. The knowing idiocy. In working to confront, engage, and hopefully transform my own judgements, preconceived notions, and self-righteous opinions, I thought now would be the time. I must disclose that my friend and I did not last very long. I believe we had only done the actual laughing bit for about 10 minutes before we hightailed it out of there faster than a walk of shame across a college campus.
What we happened upon was nothing like any of the videos I have watched online, where the sessions seemed focused on physical repetitions of movement conjoined with laughter, fake and real intermixing and ebbing about. This was like an acting class. A bad acting class. A bad acting class where the teacher told the students to walk through the space and speak to one another in gibberish. Now, I don't know about you, but this really seems like getting off to a bad start. If the purpose of this get together is to release the tension we so predominately hold in our bellies, then why would you start off with the most forced cliches which involve speaking? I know it's gibberish, but this still activates the brain in a way that's completely different than making cow faces or shaking your hands to imitate the force of a deep laugh. It requires some degree of thought, especially when you lead up to "now go around and yell at someone in gibberish" and "now go apologize to that person in gibberish while singing a country western song!" I feel that leading a group in such a manner ventures away from some base laughter concept, and into the disastreous world of insincerity and hey-world-look-at-me-i'm-gonna-be-a-star mentality so excessively overflowing in LA. The last time I felt so uncomfortable I was at the gyn's being told to "scoot on down." My friend and I found ourselves by the door during the gibberish sequence where we were trying to quickly decide whether we should tough it out and stay. Then someone next to us in the tiny room farted. We left.
What we happened upon was nothing like any of the videos I have watched online, where the sessions seemed focused on physical repetitions of movement conjoined with laughter, fake and real intermixing and ebbing about. This was like an acting class. A bad acting class. A bad acting class where the teacher told the students to walk through the space and speak to one another in gibberish. Now, I don't know about you, but this really seems like getting off to a bad start. If the purpose of this get together is to release the tension we so predominately hold in our bellies, then why would you start off with the most forced cliches which involve speaking? I know it's gibberish, but this still activates the brain in a way that's completely different than making cow faces or shaking your hands to imitate the force of a deep laugh. It requires some degree of thought, especially when you lead up to "now go around and yell at someone in gibberish" and "now go apologize to that person in gibberish while singing a country western song!" I feel that leading a group in such a manner ventures away from some base laughter concept, and into the disastreous world of insincerity and hey-world-look-at-me-i'm-gonna-be-a-star mentality so excessively overflowing in LA. The last time I felt so uncomfortable I was at the gyn's being told to "scoot on down." My friend and I found ourselves by the door during the gibberish sequence where we were trying to quickly decide whether we should tough it out and stay. Then someone next to us in the tiny room farted. We left.
Meditate on This...
When working with alignment in yoga, one is generally focused on alignment of form. The outer ankle being parallel with the inner ankle. The left leg in alignment with the right leg, and so on. But what about alignment of energy? When we are in ardha chandrasana, is the energy that we are using on the standing leg aligned with the energy of the lifting leg? Or conversely, is our energy solely focused on the lifted leg to the detriment of the standing, perhaps being left to compress with a locked knee? And what about the rest of our energy? Is is directed only towards our points of contact with the floor, or are we working to align the energy throughout the entire body.
Can we fully align our energy - physically, mentally, spiritually --- or at least begin an awareness within our practice of the many realms of alignment???
Monday, February 22, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
the biz of yoga...
I picked up a Yoga Journal at the airport on my way back to LA Tuesday (after one missed and one cancelled flight left me missing the first night of Noah Maze's Inversion Workshop) and read it on the plane. Actually, I didn't really read much in it - Maybe I really haven't looked at one for years since the time I read some article which was basically a great free ad for Yoga Works, a company, which, quite frankly disturbs me, run by a man, who, disturbs me even more. Anyways, the entire magazine was filled with weight loss drug ads. Awesome. It's clear that the knowledge, "Eat less, Move more" doesn't mean shit as far as ad-revenue is concerned. I can't believe I spent $6 for a packet of ads that looked eerily similar to any of your average low self-esteem lady mags out there. Next time, I'll just stick with Mother Jones magazine and call it a day.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
if music saved my life, then yoga saved my soul...
Align your body - Align your life - Align your heart - a bigger picture - a greater purpose.
Last year I was at the grocery store on Valentines Day standing behind a man who was buying up all the v-day goods in the store. He had bears, candy, red pink glitter papers, toys, fake flowers, a pink cake. He had it all. I thought about all that plastic crap from China... where it came from, where it was headed, and why. Then I went home, drank some red wine. And I wrote this poem I am going to share here.
Not so long after I wrote this, my Love and I finally found each other. I truly believe it's only because of how actively I was working on my alignment. In the literal detail of that as well as the big picture.
A yoga teacher of mine once said that you have to have awareness of your path and your potential. What work do you need to do to move towards that self- realization...
My love inspires me every day, to love deeper than I ever knew myself to be capable of.
-----------------------------------------------
don't tell me you love me
don't tell me you love me
gift wrapped in pink tinsel/red ribbons/silver confetti
spilling from plastic bags
onto hallmarked visions of insincerity
sincere grandiose inarticulateness
that grasps and gropes
to latch onto a word that could tie/pull/beat my heart into yours
like one more submissive victim of key marketing executives
just another shoe in for the target demographic
i couldn't stand still in a place that was so precisely bought executed delivered
don't tell me
don't tell me you love me
with flowers pulled from their source/life/breath
i don't want my love to be bouqueted up
saturated with the dank unwashable stench of death
where the waters are thick yellow murky
rotting stalks disintegrating
don't tell me
don't tell me you love me
through milk chocolate/sugarcane
artificial flavors FDC yellow #6, red#40, red#40, yellow#5, yellow#6, blue #1
blue #1, yellow#5
with corn syrup
corn is just too opportunistic too greedy too manipulative for the love i want
and yellow number 6 took me home once but never called again
so please
don't tell me
don't tell me you love me
from a striped victoria's secret box
i don't want my love costumed in a mass consumerist
fantasy as if desire truly was directed from the pages of a magazine
as if i couldn't smell the blood of exploitation
of chemical annihilation
on that cheap synthetic fabric
as if my body wouldn't be able to feel the vibrations
of the screams held in by the young woman who
pieced together the fake satin and lace into
this shallow maxim concept of exactly what sexy is
i don't need to bring back what is already inherent
so don't tell me
don't tell me you love me with an earring that will fall
into the bathroom sink - a bracelet that would stain my wrist
a ring - as if love really could be contracted through a piece of jewlery
as if that were a promise that could always be kept
i don't want a love that rusts and cracks and goes away
when the hotel safe gets broken into...
i want you to tell me
with one glance from your eyes
with one graze from your palm
with one sigh from your throat
tell me
simple
tell me
honest
tell me
love.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Sound Bathing....
For starters, it is really difficult to attempt to articulate this experience, if solely for the fact that is will be uniquely different for everyone every time.
When my friend from yoga teacher training asked our study group if any of us had ever gone to a Gong Sound Bath, I think I just went "Huh?" I mean, WTF is a sound bath? She started going to them in Chicago. I'd never even heard of this. "What's it like?" - "It (I'm paraphrasing and tired) gets really loud." And there it is. How in the hell does one articulate the experience.
I'm using my time back in LA wisely - with focus, with purpose, with an open heart. My intention is to utilize the infinite opportunities here for growth, learning, and fun healthy play. I want to try everything on the yogic realms - especially that which scares me (like my first acro class was - which was incredible!). Or that I so easily judge (laughter yoga, for example, and so yes, I am going to one this month!) I called a close friend to see if she wanted to go check out the sound bath with me and a new friend from training. She tells me she is going to get a drink instead.
The workshop is led by Heather Hudson & Jamie Bechtold. I get to the studio early. It's nice and warm to come in here from the intense rain that has been going on outside all day. I get some hot tea. I set up. For this class, we bust out all the toys. 2 bolsters. 3 blankets. 2 blocks. Sandbag. Eye pillow. My friend and I can't stop giggling at first. Is it an awkward recognition of the oddness in our culture to create group coziness? Is is trapped anxiety? Or is it just fun to laugh and giggle, I mean, for goodness sakes, we are covered up with blankets and satiny weights of sand and it's Friday night in LA. We are all totally gonna fall asleep in here. The gongs are set. The lights are dimmed off off and away. Candles flicker. First pose....
For 2 hours, we were led through 5 restorative poses. Props and bolsters were essential to all the holds, which were held for long periods of passive restoration. The gongs and bowls and tuning forks were used throughout the series, ebbing and flowing, increasing and decreasing in tempos, textures, and intensity. There were times that the sounds were so physically intense that it really helped me to focus into a deeper meditative state, for the pure reason that I wanted my mind out of the equation so that I could just EXPERIENCE the sensations and vibrations on a different realm. I came out of the workshop feeling really alive and rested and vibrant. I am interested in checking out different leaders of these workshops, as I hear many are quit different. For example, one I heard about, has the participants basically just lying down for the duration, never moving, never doing any position other than corpse.
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